Archbishop of Sydney

Fathers' Day

By + George Pell
ARCHBISHOP OF SYDNEY
2 September 2001

Colson was sustained in prison by a religious conversion he underwent the year before he was convicted. Cynics in the media remarked that if Colson could repent and be forgiven for his sins, "there just has to be hope for everybody." (They're right!)

When Colson left prison he established a group called Prison Fellowship Ministries and since then has dedicated his life to bringing the gospel to prisoners. He has visited 600 prisons in over 40 countries and is now a leading expert on the causes of crime and prison reform.

One Easter Sunday he was at Reicher's Island in New York, a prison with 26,000 inmates. For two hours he walked from cell to cell talking about God the Father. Every time he used this phrase the men would bristle "because they had no father. A could not find any individual who responded when a talked about the Father, other than with anger. A saw the hate in their eyes and realized that we had lost an entire generation, and largely filled our prisons with them."

Some of us might say that what made the men angry was Colson's proselytism! Perhaps that was so in some cases. But psychologically his own explanation makes better sense. This was Easter Sunday, not only a religious day but also a family day. Many of us lament our unhappy family situations on these occasions.

This story dramatically highlights the important role fathers play in the lives of their children, and the disastrous consequences for children when fathers fail to live up to their responsibilities. In these days of in-vitro fertilization there is a strong tendency to reduce fatherhood to its simple physiological contribution. This is a serious mistake.

Fathers have an enormous amount to give their children simply by their love and involvement. For both boys and girls, a strong relationship with their father is a guarantee of good self-esteem and confidence. It helps ensure self-discipline, delayed gratification, an ability for sustained work, and better educational results.

When fathers are absent or not regularly engaged with their children, the likelihood of low impulse control, a weaker sense of independence, drug use, sexual promiscuity and aggressive behaviour are much higher than for children where the father is around and involved in their lives.

Active fathers are also good for mothers. They help mothers to avoid over-emotionalising their relationships with their children and complement their efforts to provide discipline and guidance. For boys, the injunction never to hit girls only really has authority when it comes from their father.

Unsurprisingly, fatherhood is also good for men. Many fathers have told me stories of coming home at night, tired and sick of it all, only to be welcomed liked conquering heroes by their small children. Being loved really does make us feel that we can move the world.