Archbishop of Sydney

Father’s Day

By + Cardinal George Pell
Archbishop of Sydney
4 September 2005

It is often stated that Jesus’ preferred term for the one true God was “father”.  However the word “abba” which he used is closer to “dad”, a term for young and old children when talking to their fathers.

While it usually does not help much to call God “father” for young men who have had a disastrous relationship with their father, Jesus would have known this.  Nonetheless he persisted, because the idea helps us to understand God’s love and fatherhood is vital in the scheme of things.

It is no less important today when many fathers are absent or uninterested, and when there are so few male primary school teachers.

What does a good father offer his children?  In the first place he gives the example of loving and respecting his wife.  Children pick this up.  It was a wise mother who told her daughter to watch the way her boyfriend treated his mother!

A good father also loves his children, in good times and in bad, in deeds as well as words.  Even a chaotic, disordered home where there are genuine flashes of love can produce self-disciplined children.  Love covers a great deal of muddle and many mistakes.

Love means fathers enjoy the company of their children, value them with their imperfections and especially give them time.  If a father spends too little time with his children, he will often be slow to realise what they need.

Uncaring parents will often proclaim their love for their children too much and protect them from proper school discipline or even from the police.  But the children of good parents, and especially of a good father, know who values them and this is worth more than gold.  If every child believed “I am worthwhile”, there would be fewer health problems, because a sense of self respect is a wonderful foundation for adult life and for a proper self discipline.

Self discipline is best learnt early from consistent and loving parents, and when a father’s love for his children is genuine he imparts this.  Without it none of life’s problems can be solved, and inconsistent, impulsive training from parents is counter productive.

Good fathers are a source of authority and bring a sense of security to their children, a sense that the world is safe.

Such fathers encourage their children to realise that they cannot have every good thing immediately, that they have to work and wait for many prizes.  In other words children learn to develop the ability to delay gratification, a fruit of self discipline.

Recently I heard a top woman executive recount how she reminded senior school girls that being a mother will be important for them.  Equally young men should hear of the joys and responsibility of being fathers.

There are few tasks or accomplishments which will be more significant for them or society.